Being special

i stood still as the words still reverberated through me."i know a lot of girls. they are not hormonal like you". a smile creeps in like the reddish cloud sneaking up on the expressionless night sky. the sides of the lips twitch and start moving away from each other . only just. one side went off too far. the ironic smile in the portrait is ready. "i was just trying to demand something from the relationship. trying to bring me into it. trying to find me in it. why cant i have outbursts". calm on the surface. the grin is growing hopeless now. kind of pointless now as some stray tear touches it and glides down. hot and salty. nothing sexual really. just plain saltwater. the phone is still warm in my hands. the saltwater finds its way down to the phone. i disappear. the drop still glistens on the shiny metal phone surface."special also means nothing".