A Thank You

Sometimes i lie awake in the dark
Thinking of what my life has become--
A race without a meaning, a life without a spark.
Listless and angry, my senses benumb.
Then i look at you darling
Sleeping beside me, with your hand in mine
And i feel a smile creep up my face
That tell me i will be all fine.

Strife, anger, bereavement, rage
Time goes past me in a haze
More i try to get out of the cage
I fail,my frustrations ablaze.
Then i look at you darling
Standing beside me, mine hands in thine
I cannot express the feeling
That i sense with our souls entwined.

Life's a banter; in it i crib and nag
Hoping that in my cranker
I can stop this drama, nothing but a fag.
A drink here, a hangover there
Nobody is happy, everything seems unfair.
Then i look at you darling
You give me a gentle squeeze
Helping me get out the anger
Giving me a release.

Hail, summer, winter, torrid rain
Every season that torments me
Reminding me of what all i could gain
And everything that i have failed to be.
Then i look at you darling
Braving with me every storm
Taking in all the blows and sticks
Sheltering my soul to form.

Depressed and moping, i stay
Don't know what i've to fear
Doing everything to get on your nerves
Baffle you with my accusations
Making you feel guilty with my tears.
I know you can't take it anymore
Wait for you to quit and go
( Dare you to do it)
But you give me a tired smile and say "NO"
"NO" to giving up on me
Giving me another chance to be.

Don't know how you can still love
A lost cause that i am
Just want to let you know,'fore it's late
Thank you darling
For always being there for me.

Lost

Lost I am
Years of being with you
And suddenly
You no more.

Lost I am
In a sea of memories
No repose, no retreat
Groping at the past.

Lost I am
Where are the days
We shared together
The little talks,the big fights
Holding each other at night?

Lost i am
In a world
Which says, you are at a better place
What place??
Where I'm not there to share the space?

Lost I am
Without you
Each day a heavy weight
Living a curse of fate

Lost I am
You remember
The small little dates
Dates I've looked forward to everyday
Nothing but torture to me today.

Lost I am
You told me
To try to be happy
Happiness???
That doesn't exist anymore for me.

Lost I am
I listen to the radio
All Day, All Night
but my heart wanders
Music plays on, but I'm not there.

Can you come back?
Take me with you
Your wife
One who has forgotten what life is

The music goes on
The dance of life intact
Tears flow and cease
But I find no peace.

Life was you
Happiness was you
Now you gone
Nothing holds true.

Lost I am
Years of being with you
And suddenly
I'm no more, too..

(inspired by my aunt who loved my uncle more than anyone could love any man...take care of her uncle...she needs you)