i still dont know why i never enjoy holi...festival of colours they say...i feel as if it is a drastic effort on man`s part to infuse colours in his grey and black life...y cant we look at the colours that life bestows upon us? we always take them for granted and then one fine day when we try and notice them life would have already taken it away frm us...y do we feel that we have to wait till the last moment to face ourselves? y do we run away frm ourselves? y are we in the eternal quest " to strive , to seek , to find and not to yeild" that "something" or "somework" which we think will give us the secret of that eternal joy which all this time stays by our side neglected and mocked by our "grand ambition"? y r we running everyday from ourselves under the facade of earning to buy happiness? happiness is in the infant`s smile, in the littele dog`s devotion to u, in the trickling rains, in the smallest act of kindness, in the first flush of love, in the sun rays falling on the dews in a spring morning, in smiling at people....how many of us stop to see the beauty in a tree laden with yellow and purple flowers in the concrete jungles and feel amazed at god`s miracles...the colours are fading as we try frantically to hold on to them...thus we smear ourselves with artificial colours in our final bid to escape that monster we have become...

i look and try to hide
the mirror cracked from side to side...
out came me frm it
IS IT ME? no longer bound in the chains of my various facades
but dissolving into nothingness

in my bid to win the world
i won all
but lost my soul

and my soul looks into my eyes
and sighs
i am no more, all there remains is the creature
that i created
with all the right masks
but no smile on its lips
no light of life in its eyes
i fall upon the thorns of life
but i dont bleed anymore
from being a somebody
to a tiny speck in this world of nobodies....