Meet the IN-LAWS

me and my boyfriend have been dating for the last 2 years.ours have been a long distance relationship from the very beginning and our story of getting together has turned into stuffs of legend. we were friends for a long period of time before we decided 2 plunge into this pit.

being friends for so long, both our parents knew the other pretty well. but that didn't save them from the shock of finding out that their worst nightmare has come true.

one fine day when for a change my boyfriend[let me call him HE] was here his dad suddenly asked him for an interview with me. having met his parents earlier, i wasn't exactly expecting living dragons but i was nervous nevertheless. all through the week as the D-day approached i was being coached by my friends how to talk, how to act coy , how to impress the "supposed" in-laws and how to keep my mouth shut[as i have a history of talking too much...was in the debate club in school].

on the D-day, i was all nervous and shaky. came back from college early [after taking the blessings of my friends] and got ready the best way i could.dressed up as a "true blue Indian" nari. HE came to pick me up and i went in almost like a goat about to be butchered. i was getting all the feelings that i had read about that a person gets before facing a death sentence. my hands were all cold and i was pale. to my horror i also realised that HE has got an extreme case of cold and could hardly even say a word. there went my hope for support when i stammered or was being gruelled by the DAD!!!

we went to the cafe designated and then began the excruciating wait for the DAD.i kept glancing here and there as if expecting an attack from any side now....and then entered through the door the DAD...

for a moment i was paralysed and had an extreme urge to run out...dash out like the fastest woman on earth[for a moment i almost believed that i was India`s answer to the black athletes at the Olympics finally]. but such is my luck i couldn't do that.the effect of the paralysis was that i was left stranded in a weird posture where i looked completely constipated[so much for a dignified and stylish first impression].

the DAD came and sat down and tricked HE to move away from me so that DAD could sit beside me[i guess DAD believes in the saying "keep your friends close , enemies closer"].the close proximity with the supposed enemy and the loss of my only support made me absolutely sure of my own brutal ending. all that was left now was to wait for it to come to me.

the DAD kept smiling at me ....i thought i should return the favour and kept smiling at him.this kept on for a long time [it almost seemed like we both were competing with each other as to who can smile the most]...but soon both our cheek muscles gave in and we had to stop. i waited for the fusillade of questions ...more of blaming and counter blaming.[i have grown up on a staple diet of K-serials which my mother follows like a religion]

DAD began with "you are different from the 5'7" "referring to HE`s earlier crazy girlfriend but which i misinterpreted as "u r different from the 5 to 7 girls that i have met for HE". boy i was furious. i gave HE the dirtiest look i could give which he seemed to fail to understand. i replied back " yes.i am way more intelligent". now DAD also gave me a confused look. to break the confusion DAD asked " so what are u planning?" which he meant to be a nice question about my future plans in studies but i misconstrued it to be a direct question about marriage plans. i quickly clarified"we don't plan to do anything now.we are not fooling around about it but then we still have long time to think. i don't think i will go for anything till i am mature and at least 26. i think that's a good age ...don't you?"...by this time DAD was completely mystified and assured that i was a mental case. he just gave me a shaky laughter and said in a feeble tone"do your parents know that u plan to do absolutely nothing till u are 26?"
i laughed and said " ya ya. they are in fact relieved that i have taken this decision.they don't believe in doing this all too early. slow and steady.just enjoying the moment. HE also wishes to do that only.i mean whats the hurry?"
DAD looked choked and weird now. [i thought maybe it was the coffee..too hot i guess.] he said feebly"u don't want to do anything
,it is fine. but HE needs to take care of the business u know."
i got angry now."well if he considers this to be a business then i guess i have misunderstood him. emotions are involved here. u just cant plunge into it. u can maybe, but i cant. and i wont let him also. u cannot bully him into marrying just because you consider it to be a business!!".i was practically shouting now. HE was gesturing weirdly at me which i couldn't understood. looked more like monkey scratching to me.

DAD was furious also. "you don't want to have a career doesn't mean u corrupt my son too. don't u want to have a successful boyfriend??why should he wait for so long to do work???"

suddenly we both stopped. eyeing each other like the gunfighters of the Wild Wild West we aimed our best shot at each other. i was planning to throw the coffee on DAD`s shirt[huh! expensive branded material. i would have shown him].i could see he was eyeing my strawberry milkshake as his weapon.but i thought to myself"i am young and quick...even though the salwar and dupatta is making life Hell for me.. i will throw it and run...Olympics here i come!!]....everything seemed to have slowed down around us. in true filmy style we were ready....

......

suddenly a faint voice came up from the sidelines. we both turned...keeping one eye on the other of course.but HE couldn't speak. he went coughing. i thought i will take the advantage of the situation and took the coffee and used all my aim to throw it at DAD. it hit him square on the chest...so long for his 'dirt resistant' shirt. he was flabbergasted. he sat down slowly. i smiled in triumph. it was at this point that HE finally regained his speech power "u both are talking about different stuffs. no wonder u both cant understand each other."now it suddenly dawned on me that what HE was saying was actually right. from pink gleefulness i turned into bright red[the colour contrasted my purple salwar kameez].

i felt absolutely ashamed and tried to say sorry. DAD by this time was already exhausted. as i tried to explain he cut me short. "i don't want to know anything. what ever my son has chosen i leave it to him. i give my consent.you are wonderful .now just let me go...please......"

thus ended my " MEET THE IN-LAWS" episode.

DAD now seems to run away from me every time i visit his place....i don't wonder why....